I just did a Yoga Nidra (basically a guided nap) for 33 minutes, and yes those three minutes are important. It felt difficult, rebellious, wrong, good, how it should be, naughty. I wasn’t doing anything at 2pm on a Friday afternoon, that’s wrong isn’t it? Turns out it isn’t. I, like many, have struggled with rest and relaxation for years but now – after leading a group of women into deep relaxation on my Winter Hibernation Day Retreat – I’m on a mission to reclaim rest as radical self-care.
Western society values productivity, achievement and busyness. To be busy is worn as a badge of honour and stress is perhaps the biggest societally acceptable chronic condition. When did we become human doings not human beings? For me it was probably somewhere around college/University, for us as a race maybe the Industrial Revolution. As much as big industries may want us to believe life is about output, results and achievements it isn’t. More of us are realising this and wanting to live more and feel content in our lives. Rest is a key component of this.
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Rest is vital for health and wellbeing
When we rest our body enters into parasympathetic nervous system response; in this state we digest our food, emotions and experiences and the body has time to repair itself.
A lot of our modern lives are spent in sympathetic nervous system response, this is our stress response and our ancient fight or flight mode. In this state all but vital processes shut down, digestion goes out of the window and we enter a state of hyper arousal. Our immune systems are temporarily boosted, but if we dwell here too long our resources become depleted. We may find ourselves frequently getting ill and feeling symptoms of burnout.
Whether or not we know the science behind rest I believe we all know that rest is important. It’s why we recognise the need for a holiday, or a day of nothing. I heard Rachel Brathen speak of this on her podcast recently, and she talked of how our bodies are hardwired to soften. I love this, it’s a brilliant reminder that the ability to rest is innate within all of us we just need to find our way back to it.
If we know rest is vital, why don’t we do it?
From a personal perspective I’ve always found rest hard because I’ve constructed a sense of self-worth around achievements, external praise and validation and the society I live in has supported this belief. This is something I’ve come to find many of us struggle with. But guess what?
Our worth is not connected to our productivity. In fact, we are all innately worthy right now as we are. (read that again, repeat).
It’s easy to see, though, how our society benefits from us believing worth=productivity and achievement.
Why rest is radical
When we rest we allow ourselves to restore and heal, and time to think and daydream. This time may help us connect to our true desires, our core values and what kind of life makes us happy. Think about when you go for a walk, or a swim or even when you’re relaxing on the beach and a life changing idea pops up seemingly out of nowhere. This is one of the powers of rest.
I’ve often found that what truly makes most of us happy isn’t what our consumerist society tells us should do so. I’ve said it before, and no doubt I will say it again, keeping us mildly unhappy most of the time is advantageous for this culture we live in. If we were all happy and well we wouldn’t buy half the things we are told we have to buy. So, we can then consider that it is also beneficial for this society for us not to be too well rested. Because well rested humans = happier, healthier humans with more of a sense of what they really want and need in their lives.
So resting is counter-cultural and it’s radical, and perhaps if you’re a bit of a rebel this makes you want to do it more. Judith Hanson Lasater says we should take twenty minutes every day to rest in basic relaxation pose (essentially lying on the floor with some cushions and blankets). Imagine if we all did that! We’d be healthier, happier and actually more productive.
In fact, companies are now catching on to this idea of rest being good with some firms prescribing micro-breaks to employees and seeing the benefits. So, perhaps rest won’t be so radical after all in a few year’s time. But right now, prioritising your own rest is a way of re-connecting to the natural human state and to your true needs and desires.
An exercise to help you change your beliefs about rest
Because we live in a society where busyness and productivity are valued, we can often develop negative beliefs around this. The exercise below helps us to notice these beliefs, and then lovingly challenge them.
Exercise: This is something I’ve done myself and one I share with my 1:1 clients often. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write down all of your beliefs about rest. These can be positive or negative. Perhaps you start with rest is… and see what comes out. Don’t censor yourself. Now go back and read your beliefs and mark any that are negative. Next, re-write those negative beliefs as positive ones. For example a negative belief of “resting means I am lazy” becomes “resting means I am fully charged to do my best in all areas of my life”.